


The X Pt. 4

by koreanboyswriting



Series: The X [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crimes & Criminals, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gangs, Heavy Angst, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21517891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koreanboyswriting/pseuds/koreanboyswriting
Summary: Things get more serious for you with Wonho, but you still can’t shake Shownu. Will he fall for you or expose you to everyone?
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Reader, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Reader
Series: The X [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/975444
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	The X Pt. 4

Wonho was holding Shownu by the back of his suit jacket, and Shownu looked murderous. Shownu jumped to his feet quickly and shook his arms forward ripping the back of his jacket out of Wonho’s hands and grabbed the front of his shirt.

“Do not touch me.” Shownu growled lowly into Wonho’s face.

Wonho grabbed Shownu’s hands and pulled them from his shirt slowly, his eyes steel.

“I’ll do whatever I want when you’re attacking my girl.”

“Your girl?” Shownu practically whispered.

Wonho stepped closer to Shownu, so they were nose to nose, Shownu’s fist was clenched and you jumped out of your seat. You scrambled out of the car, your dress scrunching up your thighs as your heels skidded on the wet tar.

“Hey, hey, hey, guys, please.” You got in between them and pushed on their chests until they reluctantly separated.

“Shownu wasn’t attacking me, okay?” You said looking into Wonho’s eyes and he just sighed and relaxed his fists. “Now you should apologize to Shownu.” Wonho looked affronted and surprised that you would have the audacity to talk down to him like a mother, but the realization overruled your comment and he apologized.

“It’s whatever,” Shownu said quietly and left, holding one of Wonho’s shoulders for a second before he slipped back into the limo and it sped off into the nighttime traffic.

You sighed and hugged yourself in the cold air that was prickling your arms now that you were out of the warm limo’s embrace. Wonho put a hand on your back and guided you inside, the door man silently holding open the overlarge door. The pair of you stayed quiet as Wonho guided you upstairs to your apartment, once you were inside and set your clutch, the iPhone box, and your shoes down you looked at Wonho unsure of what to say, the words ”my girl” still ringing in your head.

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t own you, and I shouldn’t have behaved that way, you don’t have to explain anything to me, we’re not together you don’t owe me anything. And yeah, I just– I don’t know what came over me…” Wonho trailed off looking at his hands as you walked over and enveloped him in a hug.

He just held you as you laid your head on his shoulder. Wonho just always said the right things as if he could read the thoughts that passed through your eyes. He gave what you wanted when you wanted it and nothing when you didn’t. You never had to second guess what he was thinking because he would let you know, unlike others. It felt easy with him but for some reason Shownu was like a shadow trailing you, attached to you for some reason, always in the dark.

Wonho picked you up and cradled you in his arms as soon as you were starting to think you could fall asleep there and took you to your room. He set you down on your bed and walked into your closet, coming out with a little black nightgown in his hands. You pulled it over your head and pulled off the straps of the dress you were wearing and shimmied it down your legs as  
Wonho walked to the bathroom. The navy dress hit the floor and you sat up and crossed your legs as Wonho returned with a makeup wipe in his hands. You smiled gratefully at him and he winked and left again as you wiped all the makeup off your face, the scent of vanilla lingering from the wipe. You tossed it into the bin by the door as Wonho returned again with a hair brush in his hand. He leaned against the bed and looked at you, asking “may I?” with his eyes, you nodded, and he climbed into bed with you. You turned around so you were facing the headboard and pulled a pillow into your lap as he started to comb through your hair. You sighed and relaxed your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Wonho asked quietly.

You licked your lips and shrugged, “I don’t know, I just feel confused. I never expected any of this to happen. I really didn’t. And now I feel bad, because I incited one thing and not the other and I feel like I brought it on myself.”

“Shhh… Never feel like any of this is your fault. I know who Shownu really is. He likes to project the idea of the lone wolf, but he really relies on us and I know our bond is unbreakable. So, he might be upset right now, but we’ll move on like we always do. As for what happened between you guys tonight, like I said, I don’t need to know in fact, I don’t want to. Your life is your life, you don’t owe me anything,” Wonho said simply as if it was common sense.

You turned around and looked into Wonho’s soft brown eyes and said, “It was nothing, I promise you.” Wonho smiled and you pressed a light kiss onto his lips and Wonho circled his arms around you and pulled you close peppering kisses all over your face till you laughed and you both laid in your bed together holding each other and talking until you fell asleep, trying to believe yourself that Shownu was nothing, but then again Wonho was supposed to be nothing too.

***

When you woke up the next morning Wonho was gone, all that remained of the muscular cuddle-y man was a note on your pillow that said, “I had a good time last night, x.” You smiled to yourself and rolled over to place the note on the side table. You picked up your new iPhone that sat there and rolled it in your hands. It was a huge upgrade from the simple one you had before. There was a message waiting when you lifted it up to your face. Shownu had texted you that you would be working at the Indigo Flower that night because they needed the help after losing a server. You texted back “ok” and waited with the messaging app open for a minute to see if he would respond. The read receipt came up and that was all you received.

You walked around the apartment admiring the beauty of it in the light of day. The floors were cold and a deep rich colored hard wood, and the wall opposite the kitchen was exposed brick with a large floor to ceiling window right in the middle that looked out onto the street below. The whole apartment was eclectic and beautiful and was fashionable yet cozy and you could tell that someone had outfitted it and picked every piece with love and care.

You made yourself a simple breakfast with what was in the kitchen and sat down at the table eating in silence occasionally scrolling through your phone. The silence was deafening, and it was the first time you really felt alone. You had been surrounded by people almost every moment since you had arrived, and it had been a nice buffer to not really think about what you were supposed to be doing and what was actually going in your life before you had left. You were married to the job. You didn’t have any friends besides your fellow officers and the last time you had a relationship was in high school before the academy. And now here you were surrounded by two beautiful men trying to figure out what the hell you were supposed to be doing and who was actually at fault here. Your fork slipped off the table and that’s when you realized you had been daydreaming as you were thinking about all the problems in your life.

You picked up your dishes and rested them in the sink silently promising yourself that you would do them later as you jumped into your bed pulling the covers up to your chin turning on the tv and letting your mind wander. After all, you were supposed to be staying under the radar and you couldn’t remember the last time you had most of your day off.

***

You must have fallen asleep because you woke up to loud gunshots. You jumped off the bed resting into your fighting stance when you heard more gunshots and realized it was just coming from the crime show that was on the tv. You laughed at your stupid self and rubbed your eyes roughly. Looking at the clock on the side table you realized it was almost time for work, so you went over to the bathroom and got cleaned up. As you pulled your brush through your hair you thought about how Wonho had done it last night. Then you brushed your hands over your cheeks thinking about the kisses that he peppered across your face, and it felt nice to feel like this, giddy and warm at the thought of someone’s touch. But you had a job to do, and this was beyond unprofessional. Or maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was necessary to get the information you need. Or maybe you were just a stupid girl who would open your legs for anyone who treated you decent, desperate for love. You went with the last one, being self-deprecating made you feel better for all the indulgence you were allowing yourself to partake in.

You decided to walk once you got outside and felt the chilly breeze on your face, it felt like a wakeup call. The sky was darkening, and the lights were beginning to glow from the store windows ad signs, and you reminded yourself that a man was killed not too long ago from a place not too far from where you were heading to work. You shoved your hands in the pockets of the luxurious coat you found in the closet and put your head down as you walked the mile and a half to the Indigo Flower. You assured yourself as you walked that tonight would be the night for less talking and more listening. There had to be answers somewhere. Someone knows something and you were going to found out who it is.

When you saw the large neon sign of the Indigo Flower in your periphery, you hopped around the puddles in the street to you got to the other sidewalk and rushed in. A cute young boy was at the podium this time and he smiled cutely at you, before waving, and you noticed all the silver rings he wore on each hand.

“How can I help you this evening ma’am,” he said, an accent lilting his tone, one that you couldn’t place, it sounded somewhere in between a soft British accent mixed with American.

“Oh no,” you shook off your coat and hung it over your left arm and reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Lydia, I started here the other night, I’ve also been working at the club, Shownu told me to come here tonight though.”

“Oh, you’re Lydia,” the boy shook your hand and adjusted his wire framed round glasses. “I’m Shownu’s little brother Changkyun.

You smiled and tried to hide your excitement that you clicked together another piece in the puzzle that is Shownu. Changkyun started talking to you about the restaurant and wondering out loud what you would be doing tonight when Hyungwon sauntered up to the front. He looked beautiful in a silk black shirt that was tucked into crisp black slacks with platform loafers. He looked easy and casual and walked with grace. You smiled easily at him and he winked back playfully.

“Lydia, come with me. Changkyun go find those menu inserts I told you to do an hour ago, I need a hundred more,” Changkyun rolled his eyes and smirked at you before leaving the podium.

You walked in line with Hyungwon glancing around the restaurant, noticing how busy it was for the first time.

“How are you with serving?” Hyungwon asked as soon as you made it through the swinging kitchen doors.

“I’m pretty good, served at a diner for two years of high school. I’ll never forget the muscle memory of holding a tray over my shoulder,” you said with a laugh.

Hyungwon smiled. “Great, here’s your shirt and apron go change, and ask Changkyun which section needs more coverage.”

You nodded and opened your mouth to ask another question but Hyungwon had already turned on his heel and was shouting at a cook that he plated the noodles wrong.

You shrugged, walked to the staff bathroom in the back and changed quickly putting on the button up that had a small indigo flower embroidered over the right chest pocket area. You tied the apron securely, smoothed your hair back into a ponytail and walked out. Servers zoomed around you with quick efficiency and you walked past a rack full of supplies. You snagged a notepad and pen and shoved them into your apron and grabbed a tray as you passed a stack. When you walked back out, Changkyun was sitting a group of giggling girls who were throwing him flirty looks, you laughed to yourself as he winked to them and walked away.

You both met at the podium at the same time and you cracked up laughing before you could help yourself and Changkyun shoved your shoulder.

“Sorry Casanova, don’t want to ruin the game you got going there,” you said between laughs, holding your hands up in surrender.

Changkyun rolled his eyes. “Let’s just find what section you need to work in miss.”

He pulled a seating chart up on the iPad that was propped up on the podium. Every table was either green, or red, and had server’s names attached to groups of four or five tables. One server in the back had eight and all of them were red which Changkyun said meant they were occupied. He cut the servers section in half and typed your name into the computer, so half of them were now yours.

“Ok, those tables are yours now, those are the ones next to the large flower painting in the back room. Just let Gia know as soon as I seat someone at those next, they’re yours.”

You nodded and ran the table numbers over and over again in your head. As you walked into the back. The petite girl you assumed was Gia was zipping between the tables. Her face slightly pink and her ponytail falling loose from where it was likely perched at the top of her head.

You waved at her and she came speed walking over, “What’s up? What do you need?” She asked visibly harried.

“Nothing, I’m here to help you, I’m taking the left half of your section as soon as the tables leave. Do you need help with anything?”

She tucked her hair behind her ear and grabbed my shoulder, “Oh thank god, you can take table 422 right now if you want it, I’ve only taken their drink orders. And can you get 421’s food.” She rummaged through her apron pulling out her pad and rifling through it till she found the one with 421 scribbled across the top.

“Here,” she tore it off and handed it to you, “you’re an angel thanks.” And then she was off zipping back to another table.

You went and got the food first dropping it off for the hungry looking recipients who thanked you and tucked in. You greeted the last table and feigned knowledge about the entrees suggesting ones that were more expensive, so you’d get a bigger tip, just like you used at the diner. You succeeded and scribbled down their requests and took it to the back.

The rest of the night flowed as easily as it began. As Gia got less stressed, she helped you more and gave you pointers while you talked at the cash registers. Before you knew it, it was already 12 a.m. and the restaurant was empty. Changkyun was acting suave for Gia as he wiped down a table, she wasn’t having it, she just laughed and threw her rag at him. The rest of the servers had already left, except for a couple who were cleaning in the back with the cooks and Hyungwon sat at one of the booths, his feet propped up next him as he counted money and typed numbers into a large old-school calculator that printed out receipts from the top.

You walked into the back to grab more cleaning solution and two of the cooks were dancing to mariachi music and shaking their hips as they tossed the contents of their pans. You laughed and looked around at the other three servers that were back there and asked them why they were still cooking.

“Oh, it’s for family dinner. We’re adding some new things to menu, I think. Once were done cleaning, we’ll all eat in the dining area,” said a pretty tall girl who’s name you didn’t know.

You nodded and smiled and walked out to get the last row of tables while Gia was sweeping and Changkyun was still wiping tables. When you guys were all done you flopped down at one of the big tables in the center dining area and the chefs came out with the other servers. They put pans upon pans at the table and your stomach rumbled with hunger. Hyungwon joined all the wait and kitchen staff at the table and everyone was eating soundly when Shownu strided in. His dress shoes softly clacking on the marble floors.

He sat himself without a word and started pulling the food towards him. He began eating and one of the cooks started talking to him, waving his hands animatedly and pointing at the food. Everyone else was talking on acting as if they had never stopped to see Shownu come in. You could feel his eyes on you as you ate, but you were determined not to make eye contact. Hyungwon filled up your wine glass further and you smiled and drank it gratefully. It felt like his eye were burning a hole into the side of your head, but you looked right at Changkyun and forced yourself to listen to what he was saying.

“I mean I could have asked for their numbers if I wanted to, but I didn’t. It’s all about balance,” he said with a smirk. Hyungwon just rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“So, how’s the restaurant doing?” You asked Hyungwon.

“We’re doing good. We definitely don’t make as much money as the club, but we do well. We have a steady client base.” He said as he picked at a stray string on his shirt cuff.

You nodded trying to find other topics in your head to discuss, but you felt the ability to small talk had suddenly flew from your head. Perhaps it had landed where Shownu was because all you could think about was him, and whether or not he was onto you, because his stare said more than his mouth ever did. Before you could speak again Hyungwon did.

“So, Kihyun told me about what you did at the meeting the other night, that was amazing. Good thinking.” Hyungwon said quietly, smiling at you with his eyes.

You drained your glass and Changkyun filled it back up this time.

You laughed, “Jeez, you guys trying to get me drunk?!”

Changkyun laughed, “Better you than me and we need to finish this bottle somehow.”

You rolled your eyes and sipped your red anyway. Slowly as the wine filled your system, you got less anxious about Shownu watching you, and then forgot about him entirely as you enjoyed the company of Changkyun, Hyungwon, and Gia.

“And then, once Shownu realized that it was me who stole his bear stickers and not Wonho, who he had been chasing around the yard for 30 MINUTES, he tried to beat me up and Wonho wrestled him to the ground till he gave up.” Changkyun said between laughs, his eyes watering.

Hyungwon was clutching his stomach as he brushed at his eyes. Gia was holding her napkin over her face which was so red you didn’t even know that that was a shade that existed. Shownu came up behind Changkyun and put his hands on his shoulders, squeezing them till Changkyun wiggled out of his grasp.

“Hey now, let’s not tell all the family stories next thing I know you’ll be talking about the tattoo I have on my ass.” Shownu said quietly.

Gia burst and snorted so hard it renewed everyone’s laughs again, even Shownu started laughing, and it was nice to see openness to his eyes.

You looked down at the table and realized it was empty, one of the servers came back in and took the rest of the plates off the table. Once everyone had calmed down, Gia picked up her purse and her coat and told everyone she needed to go home and relieve her husband of baby duties. We all told her to get home safe. Next to go was Hyungwon, he grabbed Shownu’s shoulder and whispered something in his ear before he picked up his receipt book and calculator and winked at you on the way out. You started to get up, not wanting to be left alone with Shownu, but when you stood you stumbled dizzily. Changkyun jumped up and caught your elbow and you laughed standing upright.

“I’m fine, sorry. I probably need to get home now too.” You tried not to look too flustered as you looked around for your purse. You noticed it in the booth where Hyungwon had been counting checks earlier and walked over to it, losing your balance twice.

“Why don’t you go home Changkyun, I’ll drive her home.” Shownu said behind you quietly.

“I don’t think I should drive though,” said Changkyun swaying where he stood.

“You don’t have to. Alex is outside in your car,” said Shownu.

“Oh, okay…” Changkyun grabbed his phone off the table, looked at Shownu weirdly and waved at you before he walked out.

“You know I can get home myself,” you said quietly trying not to show that you were leaning on the table for support.

“I didn’t say that you couldn’t. I said I’m taking you home.” Shownu said while walking towards you.

You swallowed thickly and kept your hands clutched on your purse. Shownu just prowled towards you and grabbed your wrist and steered you towards the door. He hit the lights, and pulled you outside grabbing some keys from his pocket and locking the door quickly. You looked around and noticed the long limo parked on the curb that was polished so perfectly it reflected the Indigo Flower sign like a mirror. As you had assumed it was for you. The driver got out and opened the door and once again Shownu steered you towards the car.

You yanked your arm out his grasp as soon as you sat down. “Don’t grab me like that, I’m an adult not a child,” you said your voice cold.

Shownu didn’t say anything, he just looked at you for a second and closed the door behind him. As soon as it clicked shut you were off. You sat back and put on your seatbelt. You glanced up at Shownu again and he was staring straight ahead. You rubbed your wrist, it didn’t hurt, just bothered you more than anything. Like Wonho said, neither of them owned you, so you weren’t about to let Shownu act like he did.

“Sorry,” Shownu said barely audible.

Then he rolled up the partition and the driver did not seem to notice. You swallowed again and fidgeted closer to the window. It was a silent car ride and when the limo stopped you looked out the window to a beautiful neighborhood of sky-scraping glass buildings, almost like an apartment neighborhood for millionaires.

“Where are we,” you asked Shownu. “This isn’t my place.”

“I know that. It’s mine.” He said looking at you directly for the first time.

You sighed, “Look, Shownu. I’m tired, can we talk about yesterday later? I don’t have the energy right now.”

“No, we need to talk now. You’re going to come up whether you like it or not.” Shownu growled.

You looked over at him and his eyes were a dark abyss. A new look you hadn’t seen before.

“Shownu, please. I just want to go to sleep,” you pleaded.

“And you will one way or another, after we talk. Now get out of the car before I have you removed from it,” said Shownu.

You looked at him confused, but he had already opened his door. You unbuckled your seatbelt and followed suit trying to stay calm. Shownu was already at the door, so you quickly shuffled over and followed him into the building. The lobby was all marble, glass, and maroon accents. Like a chic modern take on a hunter’s lodge, only less wood. It felt sterile, you weren’t sure if you liked it or not. There was an elevator attendant and once he saw Shownu he bowed his head and clicked the floor button without Shownu having to say a word.

You glanced at the buttons and realized without surprise that you were going all the way up to the 40th floor. Of course, Shownu had the penthouse.

When the doors opened, the view looked out to a pristine bachelor pad. Black sleek couches, a wood and glass coffee table, fur carpet. White and gold accented kitchen, an all glass table with what looked like an antique Persian rug underneath. It was almost perfect, but it had the feeling of not being lived in. Shownu walked to the kitchen and pointed towards the dining table.

“Sit down,” he almost whispered.

“Excuse me?” You asked.

“Lydia, you fucking heard me, sit down.” He growled.

He was onto you. He had to be. But what had exposed you? Had he followed you that night you saw Detective Cooper? No. He couldn’t have, he was just as worried as Wonho was. But then again maybe he was acting, he’s not the first person in this room to tell a lie. If you were going to get through this, you were going to have to be convincing as hell. You watched Shownu’s broad shoulders as he turned from you and opened up a random drawer. There was a key code at the top, he punched in the numbers so fast you couldn’t see what it was. When the drawer cover slid back there was black Glock 21 sitting in the drawer, a wad of hundreds, and you realized with horror, your pocketknife you had thought you lost.

He held it up it his hand and left the drawer wide open, almost like a warning. “Do you know what this is?” He said incredibly quiet.

“Yes, it’s a pocketknife,” you said trying to be nonchalant, though your buzz was fading rapidly.

“Do you know what kind of pocketknife it is,” said Shownu.

You tried to look bewildered, “Shownu, what’s going on?”

He flicked it open with ease and you jumped a little, “It’s a police grade knife. Do you know where they sell these?” He asked his voice at a steady level now.

“No, Shownu, I don’t,” you said evenly, trying to sound a little annoyed.

Shownu walked closer flipping the knife in his hand. “They only sell these well-balanced knives at two stores in New York City. Do you know where they sell police equipment in New York City Lydia?”

Shownu was standing right in front of you, just arms-length away now. “Shownu, I don’t understand why you are asking me these questions!” You shouted looking flustered.

“DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME!” Shownu shouted slamming the knife down so hard on the table the entire thing quaked. You pressed yourself into the back of your chair, frozen to it.

“Minhyuk found this little knife in the dressing room at the club. You were the only one staying there, and it was never there before you were.” Shownu stepped closer closing the gap so you had to look straight up at him. “And the special things about these knives is that they have a serial number on them so that cops can track them between each other if they get lost. And that’s why they are specially made and only sold at two police outfitting stores in New York City.”

“Now, I could take this to any store, and persuade the salesclerk to let me know which badge number is associated with this serial number on this knife, and he would tell me. But here I am giving you a chance to prove me wrong. So, am I Lydia? Am I wrong? Is there a reason you have a police knife as cocaine seller, because you’re the cleanest cocaine addict I’ve ever seen. It’s almost like you never were one.” Shownu finished and set the knife down every so gently on the glass tabletop.

Your eyes started watering and you didn’t try to stop it you left yourself breath through it as if you were and right when you could have reigned it in you let it loose and started lightly crying, enough to be believable, but you didn’t want it to be over the top, you needed to sell this.

“Back when I was 16 my older brother graduated the police academy and entered the force. They put him on special victims, which is rape, pedophilia, kidnapping, child crimes, you know the works, all the terrible shit.” You paused and sniffled, Shownu stood in front of you still, though he took a step back and his gaze was still steely.

“He worked really hard. He loved catching the bad guys and putting them away and he was good at it. After about a year there my brother was getting pretty run down, apparently it was common knowledge that nobody lasted much longer than a year in special victims, so my brothers time was running out.

“He wasn’t excited about work anymore. He was always tired, and he didn’t want to talk about anything that happened at work. Then one day he was on a case trying to crack a pedophile ring, they were kidnapping young girls and trading them between each other, and every time they thought they had a concrete number of people, it just kept getting bigger.

“My brother worked on the case nonstop. And then they cracked it, they hacked into their site and got the email addresses and billing addresses for all the members of their creepy little club and found where they would be trading little girls that night. They assembled a team and were very well prepared to go in. My brother being one of the lead detectives obviously made sure he was a part of it even though he hadn’t been sleeping much as he worked on the case.”

Shownu, who sensed your dip in tone sat down, his eyes still concealing every feeling.

You took in a deep breath and continued, “Well the creeps got scared as soon as the police stormed into the old factory and they started grabbing their kids and running. A couple of them had guns and were firing shots at random. My brother cornered one into a room that split off the main floor, and he told him to freeze, and he did. He was holding a little girl by her wrist and she looked horrible, my brother said she couldn’t have been more than 6.

“My brother told him that he could go if he just let the girl go because he knew they had the place surrounded and he would get caught anyway. The guy made a move that he thought was going to endanger the girl, so he tried to shoot him, but he was so tired and the girl was so scared she just froze as her captor jumped behind her. My brother killed that little girl. It wasn’t his fault, at least he didn’t mean to, it just all happened so fast.” You sobbed a little harder, not faking it this time.

“And no one blamed him, the guy was armed and there had been reasonable danger, he was cleared, but it never left him. He eventually retired early, but no one did anything! He wasn’t fine and you could see it! I tried to get therapy included in his benefits, but they wouldn’t allow it, and he just faded away from me. I tried to check up on him, but I didn’t have the time to do that every day, and the one day I couldn’t he shot himself in the head in his garage.”

You rubbed your eyes roughly and sniffled, “No one cared, they wanted him to be fine, so they pretended he was fine. They killed him, the police did that to him,” you said harshly.

“That’s his knife, I keep it with me as a reminder of how fucked the system is. I hate them, I hate everything they ever did to him. It’s their fault,” you tried to stop crying, rubbing at every tear that fell.

“I started doing drugs after that. I got clean after I realized that my boyfriend was trying to control me with it. I’ve been clean for months now. I don’t want it anymore, I just want to be me again,” you said softly.

Before Shownu could say anything, you grabbed the knife off of his table, flicked the blade close, and got up. Shownu was still staring at you, though his eyes weren’t as hard.

“I assume we’re done here right?” You shoved the knife into your pocket and walked towards the doors rubbing at your eyes with the sleeve of your jacket.

You had just opened the door when Shownu grabbed your wrist again. You tugged your hand roughly out of his grasp.

“I told you not to grab me like that,” you growled.

Shownu pushed the door closed and pulled you into a hug, almost picking you up, his hands firm around your waist. You instinctively wrapped your hands around his neck lightly. You had hoped he would let go after a second, but he just buried his face into your shoulder and gripped you tighter. You relaxed and held him closer resting your head onto his shoulder and before you knew it you were crying, really crying. Big heaving sobs racked your body and you pulled Shownu closer to you as you sobbed freely onto his shoulder. He just clutched you tightly and when your feet were about to give out from standing, he scooped you into his arms and carried you to his bedroom. He deposited you onto his bed and walked over to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and handed it to you.

You looked at it and smiled softly but handed it back to him. “Thanks Shownu, but I should go home.”

“No, just stay,” he said barely whispering.

You wanted to protest, but you also didn’t want to be alone. You never talked about your brother, you barely even talked to your parents about him anymore. You all pretended like it didn’t happen.

You tugged the shirt over your head and unbuttoned the work shirt you were wearing as Shownu walked towards his restroom. You shimmied out of your pants and looked around the room. The walls were a dark navy and all the decorations were white. Sheer curtains, leather armchairs and wood furnishings, it was effortlessly comfy, you already felt yourself getting sleepy. Shownu walked back in the room shirtless and you fought the urge to suck in a breath. You just pulled the covers quickly over your body and sequestered yourself to the left side of it.

“No cuddling,” you said softly and shoved a pillow against your back, like a makeshift wall.

Shownu chuckled and put his hands up in surrender before he climbed into the bed. You stared at the wall for a minute listening to Shownu’s breathing, and right when you felt like you could fall asleep Shownu extended over his hand and grabbed yours lightly, rubbing circles into the back of your hand, it was exactly what you needed, and you fell asleep instantly, feeling strangely safe.

***

When you woke in the morning the only person in the bed was you. You sat up and stretched looking around the room in the daylight, it looked just as pretty. It felt like it glowed even with the dark walls. You slid out of the bed and heard a voice in the next room. The door was left open a little and you tiptoed in unsure of what was going on. You couldn’t see anyone in the kitchen, so you opened the door more and there was Kihyun sitting at the desk that was next to the large window that took up the entire back wall. His feet were propped up on the desk and he had just hung up on his phone call and was looking directly at you.

“Well, you’re someone I was definitely not expecting to see.”


End file.
